A Jigsaw Life

Ramblings of a crazy woman with no idea how to piece together this confusing puzzle she likes to call her life

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Thursday, February 12, 2004
Sorry guys, I've abandoned this blog.

Monday, February 09, 2004
So yet another example of my mom's stellar judge of character--the woman she chose as my godmother might have possibly murdered her husband last night. She claims it was suicide, but she ended up with the gun in her hands and she claims that he missed himself with the first two shots and that he handed her the gun to kill herself too as he was dying. That doesn't sound like suicide to me and it doesn't help that the night before, they were involved in a domestic disturbance call with the cops. I guess I'll have to give her the benefit of the doubt for now, but forensic reports may prove otherwise. How crazy would that be? The woman that my mom hypothetically entrusted with my life, should anything have happened to my parents, is a potential murder suspect. Ah yes, the drama that is my life.

Friday, February 06, 2004
Got this survey from Cies.

[Name] Tanya
[Does your name mean anything?] Tanya means fairy queen
[Were you named after anyone?] I was supposed to be named Tatiana after a gymnast, but somehow I was named Tanya instead
[Nick Name(s)] none really, but when I was a kid, the other kids used to call me Tuna Wonton, then in college, the girls called me Maneater, and now the only thing people call me is Tanya...unless it's James...he calls me Beautiful or Princess (I know...gag)
[Screen Name(s)] SharpAsASp00n
[Date Of Birth] September 13, 1980
[Current Location] Norfolk, VA
[Height] 5'1
[Shoe Size] 6 1/2
[Hair colour] jet black
[Eye color] brown
[Innie or Outie?] innie
[Righty, Lefty, or Ambidextrous?] Righty
[Gay, Straight, Bi, or Other] straight, but I have made out with a bunch of girls

You have...
[Any sisters] yes, Samantha
[Any brothers] two, Chris and Dennis
[Any pets] no, James and I are really allergic so we can never have pets
[A Disease] oh geez, I hope not! I have had thyroid problems for the past few years though
[A Pager] ew, I did in high school! A purple one
[A Personal phone number] yes, doesn't everyone have cell phones now?
[A leather jacket with studs on it?] yeah, to match the studded leather collar and leather chaps that I wear on weekends
[A heroin needle] please, we're talking about the drug virgin here
[A Pool or hot tub] not yet
[A Car] yes, but it's so annoying

[Driving] sucks because other people can't drive
[Car or one you want] I have a 1997 Ford Explorer
[Room] what are you asking? It's a huge bedroom that's split into 3 rooms--a bedroom, a tv/lounge area, and an office
[Shoes] I have lots of them, but only wear maybe 3 or 4 pairs of them
[School] Graduated with my BA from UVA in May 2002, I plan on getting my Master's sometime in the next few years
[Bed] my favorite place in the apartment muhahaha
[Relationship with your parent(s)] not all that great, but we used to be really close
[Do you believe in love at first sight?] obviously not...James and I hardly even made an impression on each other the first time we met a few years ago!
[Consider yourself a good listener] sure...unless we're on the phone...then I have a tendency to space out in the middle of the convo
[Get Along with your parents] I thought I just answered this one!
[Save your aim conversations] no, you can do that?!
[Like to make fun of people] of course! who doesn't?
[Like to talk on the phone] sometimes...I'd rather talk in person

Do you...
[Like to drive] only if it's an open road and there's no traffic
[Get motion sickness] yes, so I must always sit shotgun
[Eat Chicken fingers with a fork] chickens don't have fingers, silly
[Dream in color] yes, and what colorful dreams they are!
[Type with your fingers on home row] how else would I type?
[Sleep with a stuffed animal] nope, I usually sleep with James, but if he's out of town for work, I sleep with a body pillow that wears one of his shirts

What Last/ Is/Are/Was...
[Right next to you] a printer, the monitor, a filing cabinet...
[Your dream honeymoon spot] somewhere sunny on a secluded beach with beautiful, clear blue water with our own private hut, complete with a giant bed (for room to roll around haha) and mountain nearby for hiking and other fun outdoorsy stuff (for him, of course, because he's into that)
[Your bedtime] I try to be in bed before midnight, but on the weekends, I usually don't go to bed until 2 or 3 am
[Under your bed] nothing...I'm a neat freak!
[ bad time of the day] first thing in the morning
[The hardest thing about growing up] having to be a second mom to my siblings and trying to have a normal teenage life as the pseudo-head of the house
[Your funniest experience] I can't exactly pick the funniest...there are way too many
[The worst feeling in the world] losing 2 of the 3 people who raised me within a year
[The best feeling in the world] I agree with Cies...being with the people I love

[Number] 5...I always add up and manipulate the numbers in the time to get the number 5...I'll even use exponents if I have to! I'm such a freak
[Color] I can't decide between blue and pink
[Song] it changes all the time, but currently it's "Remember to Breathe" by Dashboard Confessional...I just about died when I saw them perform it live
[Movie] Happy Gilmore
[Food] depends on the time of the month haha
[Season] I don't care as long as it's warm and sunny
[Drink] Grape Gumbo Smoothie from Tropical Smoothie Cafe
[Veggie] I always pick them out of hamburgers and sandwiches (unless they're warm), but I love tomatoes...sun-dried, in pastas, soup, in sauces...mmm...
[TV show] anything on TLC/Discovery/Food Network, Friends, Scrubs, Simpsons, 24...it's hard to decide
[Radio Station] currently 96X because 94.9 plays Matchbox 20 like every other song
[Store] Pier 1....they have my favorite candle there (ginger peach)
[Animal] golden retriever puppies
[Flower] light pink roses with the dark pink edges...so pretty
[State] euphoria...oh, you mean an actual state? I happen to like Virginia a lot

[Me/You] pass
[Coke/pepsi] Coke!!
[Day/night] night...cause the freaks come out at night haha
[Aol/aim] AIM
[Cd/casette] CD
[Dvd/vhs] DVD
[Jeans/khakis] jeans...they're so comfy!
[Car/truck] truck...James's Dodge Dakota was so sexy
[Tall/short] I'm short...what exactly are you asking?
[Lunch/dinner] any meal is a good meal! but I do love dinners
[NSYNC/BSB] N*sync (haha, and yes, I did put the * in it)
[Britney/Christina] Christina for her voice, I just think Britney is really pretty and a good performer...she should become a "dancer" if you know what I mean muhahaha
[Gap/Old Navy] depends on what I'm buying
[Lipstick/Lip gloss] gloss...I'm not much for make-up anymore
[Alcohol/Weed] alcohol

[Do you have a bf/gf?] yes, and he's wonderful
[If you're not single...give details?] James and I met a few years ago, but didn't make an impression on each other. Then, when we met again last year, we lied to each other so we could hang out the next day--I said I needed someone to go to a show with me and he said he liked sushi so he could go to the restaurant with me and our friend, Joyce.
[What do you miss about him/her?] everything! when he's out of town for work, it's like torture...we miss each other when one of us goes to the bathroom!
[Last thing you said] "I love you! Drive carefully"
[Who is the last person you saw?] before work? James
[Who is the last person you hugged?] James
[Who is the last person you fought with?] my mom...and it's still going
[Who is the last person you were on the phone with?] James
[What is the last TV show you saw] The Tonight Show with Jay Leno

[What are you wearing?] black pants and a really soft blue shirt
[What are you doing?] typing
[Who are you talking to?] no one
[What song are you listening to?] that Vanessa Carlton song is on the radio right now
[Where are you?] work
[Who are you with?] no one
[how are you feeling?] sleepy

[What day is it tomorrow?] Saturday!
[What are you going to do after this?] get back to work
[Who are you going to talk to?] James at lunchtime
[Where are you going to go?] my other job after this
[What do you wanna be?] my own boss

[Drank?] yes, plenty of times
[Smoked?] I was told that I tried at my work Christmas party, but I didn't inhale and I don't remember it, so it never happened
[Had sex?] no, we just sleep in the same bed
[Done anything illegal?] when I was 6, I stole a sticker from the gift shop of the zoo
[Wanted to die?] who hasn't?
[Hit someone?] yeah, I beat up the pitcher on my team after he hit my brother with the ball while he was at bat...I was the first baseman and I took off my glove and rushed the pitcher's mound

[What do you most like about your body and least?] most...my smile...least...my skin at the moment (I've got this pimple on my cheek that came out of nowhere and won't go away)...all other times, I don't like my thighs because they could stand to lose a little fat here and there
[How many fillings do you have?] two?
[Do you look like any celebrities?] not that I know of!

[Do you wear a watch?] I usually forget to put it on
[How many coats & jackets do you own?] I don't know...5? 6?
[Favorite pants/skirt color?] I love jeans, but I also love a nice black skirt
[Most expensive item of clothing?] this pink leather jacket that I only wear every so often
[How old are you mentally (as in are you mature?)] I'd say somewhere in the mid-20 to late 20 range...oh wait, I'm almost there already
[How long does it take you to get ready in the mornings] 30 min.

Thursday, February 05, 2004
Hahaha I have a new favorite Simpsons episode! The best part:

Homer: (riding a shopping cart down a hill with a scowl on his face) Must kill Moe...(big smile) weeeeee!!! (scowl) Must kill Moe.....(big smile) weeeeeee!!!

Homer arrives at Moe's, which is in flames

Moe: Homer! Thank God you're here! Help me!
Homer: Oh I'll help you alright! (grabs a stick that is on fire) I'll help you DIE!!!

Funny stuff. Gotta love the Simpsons.

I didn't get anything accomplished yesterday as far as decorating goes. I did, however, vacuum every inch of carpet in the apartment! Woohoo. I know my downstairs neighbors love it when I do that! Fortunately for them, there's a whole floor (our living room) between the main part of our apartment and their apartment.

Ooh, I did come up with a few ideas, though! I want to put up little black mini-shelves to match the picture frames in the staircase so I can put the glass oil lamps on the wall. I still want to hang up a curtain or divider of some sort in the kitchen to separate the little workout area from the kitchen/dining area. Oh, and window treatments!! We need some sort of window treatment for the kitchen door and in our bedroom. I'd like to cover up the AC window unit during these months while we're not using it. I'm also thinking about putting up curtains in the closet so it looks like there's a hallway to the bathroom instead of a bathroom in our closet.

So much work! Well, it's not like I don't have the time. James is back on the road again for work so I won't have any distractions. No more "Nah, let's not work out today. Let's just sit on the couch and hold each other"...well, at least for a little while. I prefer having the distraction!

Wednesday, February 04, 2004
So I'm back to wanting to decorate the staircase in the apartment. I pulled out my Trading Spaces book and set it aside for later when I get home from work.

Yesterday, I moved the punching bag into the corner of the nook at the top of the stairs and covered it with the door that I took down a few months ago. I think it looks kind of cool...the way the door is propped up against the wall. I think I'm going to cover it with some awesome fabric to match the fan on the table beside it. Oh yeah, and I moved the fan and candles from the ledge along the stairs so that they wouldn't distract the visitors from the pictures that I just hung up on the wall.

I'm trying to think of something interesting to hang in the skylight area where the hooks are, but all I can think of are plants and I don't want to go through the trouble of taking them down with one of those sticks with a hook on the end a few times a week just so I can water them.

There are other areas that I want to work on in the apartment. Namely the bed area (we need some sort of headboard or anything decorative by the head of the bed) and the living room downstairs. I still need to make a slipcover for the orange chair because it doesn't match anything in the apartment at all. Either that, or make some blue throw pillows to match the couch and orange pillows that match the chair to put onto the couch. Ooh, that would be easier than making a slipcover!

Hmm....*stroking the imaginary beard* We shall see. I might buy my mom's house at the end of the summer so I won't even be in the apartment for too much longer if that happens.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004
I posted a few recent pictures. I printed the ones from the wedding in black & white and put them in black frames...they look awesome! They now hang in our staircase at home. Thanks, Lester!

This weekend was pretty typical. I went out with James and Chris on Friday night and got pretty drunk. Worked on Saturday night and went to Backstage for a drink afterwards. Did nothing all day Sunday and watched the Super Bowl. Great game, by the way. Too bad people have only talked about Janet Jackson's boob popping out of her shirt "on accident" It truly was a great game.

Friday, January 30, 2004
So yesterday, I found myself doing something I hadn't done in years--I was looking at all the birthday cards trying to find the perfect "Happy Birthday, Dad!" card. I was closer to the store than James was so I picked up the last few things that we needed for the birthday dinner. I haven't bought a "Happy Birthday, Dad" card in over seven years! It's been almost seven years since my dad died, but I don't remember getting him a card for his last birthday.

It's funny, I was just thinking the other day that I don't remember very much about my dad or that last year. Like the birthday card thing...I don't know if I ever got him a birthday card for his last birthday ever. I remember what he did for his last Father's Day--he drove me up to Baltimore for yet another summer program. But there are things that kind of frustrate me. Like how I don't remember how tall he was.

His last words to me the night before he passed away were "Make sure you check things before you get them. People will always try to find ways to cheat you." At the time, he was talking about a plastic container of cookies that looked full only because of the dent at the bottom of the container. I like to think that he was talking about things and life in general.

I don't know why this is all coming up now, except for the fact that I realized that I hadn't been to the cemetery to visit his grave since July or August. The last time I went there, I was crying in my car out of frustration over how horrible things are going with my mom and I found myself driving towards the cemetery. It was dark and almost creepy, but it was still comforting to be there.

Maybe this all has to do with the fact that Nedie has been talking a lot about weddings and I remembered her saying that the first thing she thought when I told her that my dad died was "Oh no, who's going to walk her down the aisle when she gets married?" Or maybe it's just time I went back to the cemetery for another visit.